Duck Dodgers Meets the Power Rangers
by blakebs
Summary: During a routine mission to investigate the disappearance of Captain Star Johnson, Dodgers and the Cadet encounter the Power Rangers! And things get really crazy when Dodgers archenemy Commander X-2 joins in the misadventure!


**Duck Dodgers Meets the Power Rangers: Chapter 01 **

"Captain's log: Stardate 11.5/11/omega three-something. We are currently orbiting the Andron 3 system, the Eager Young Space Cadet is manning the controls, while I take care of important business..." Dodgers explained in true Kirk fashion as the exterior of the ship is shown as the usual music begins to play.

"Ha ha! Boy, these twenty-first century pulp magazines are a hoot!" Dodgers laughed out loud as he sat comfortably in his captain's chair, flipping through an old Inquire magazine dated March 2010.

"Hmm... giant platypus cures cancer, chipmunk grows to gigantic proportions, annoying surfer dude devoured by shark, Elvis Presley alive..." Dodgers paused as he turned the page.

"PBS decides to air the Double Smack Down Wrestling Championship, and is sued after kids beat themselves to a pulp..." Dodgers paused again, continuing to flip the pages.

Oh, look! Lindsay's back in rehab! And Britney's right behind her!"

Suddenly, the screen on the ship begins to flash...

**Incoming transmission from Protectorate Headquarters. **The screen said. Static flashed on the screen for a moment, then cleared up to show Dr. I.Q. High.

"Calling Duck Dodgers, come in Duck Dodgers!" I.Q. spoke in his usual stern voice.

"Oh great, its you." Dodgers replied, a look of stone-cold irritation on his face.

"Dodgers, the universe is facing a crisis of great proportions!" I.Q. continued to speak.

"What is it this time I.Q?" Dodgers inquired as he approached the screen.

"A rogue great white astro shark? Steven Spielberg finally run out of ideas? Did Prince Albert get stuck in a can again?"

"Um, no." I.Q. replied in confusion.

"Oh, I've got it! Blue-ray's become obsolete!"

"Um, nope."

"What is it then? Come on man, spills the beans! I haven't got all day!" Dodgers snapped.

"We have reason to believe that the Martians are preparing a sneak attack on Earth!"

"Well, what the heck do you want me to do about it?" Dodgers asked.

"Um, stop them." I.Q. replied

"And why would I do a crazy thing like that?" Dodgers asked, seemingly forgetting he's a Protectorate captain.

"Because its your job." I.Q. replied, a cynical look on his face.

"Oh, yeah!" Dodgers replied.

"Anyway... We've heard from a very reliable source that a Martian attack on the Earth is imminent! Three days ago, we sent Star Johnson on a mission to investigate, forty-eight hours into the mission we lost contact, and right before communications went dead, he said "_Phantom Menace"._

"Phantom Menace, eh? Is that some sort of secret code word?" Dodgers asked.

"Yes." I.Q. replied.

"What does it mean?" Dodgers asked.

"It means "**Help, I have been captured, Help, Help, the queen is wild, I'm doomed, I'm doomed, I'm doomed, especially if they send Duck Dodgers after me**!"

"That's it?!" Dodgers asked.

"Yeah, pretty much." I.Q. replied.

"And here I thought it meant something important!" Dodgers said as he sat back down in his chair in a huff.

"This is serious, Dodgers! Earth cannot afford to be attacked right now!" I.Q. replied with a serious look on his face.

"Why is that? Couldn't you just activate that fancy schmancy shield?" Dodgers asked.

"Don't you remember? You blew it up again when you used it for target practice!" I.Q. replied, an obvious hint of anger in his voice.

"I did? And here I thought it wasn't important!" Dodgers replied.

"Uh oh, my cookies are burning! Good luck, Dodgers! I.Q out!" And with that static flashed on the screen again, and the screen went blank.

"Cadet, set a course for the nearest Donut shop!" Dodgers ordered the Cadet.

"Donuts? But what about the M-M-M-Martians?" The Cadet asked.

"We'll worry about those Martians later, right now I'm famished!" Dodgers replied.

"Yes, sir!" The Cadet complied, and the course was set for the Donut shop as we're treated to an exterior shot of the ship, the usual adventurous music playing in the background.

Later, at the Donut shop....

"We're here, captain." said the Cadet.

"Well, it's about time! I'm over here starving to death!" Dodgers replied, having curled himself into a ball in his chair, shaking and shivering.

"But, cap'n... You just ate two minutes ago!" the Cadet pointed out.

"Never mind that, Cadet! You just better get me to that drive-thru, or so help me, I might just have me some fried pork rinds with all the fixins'!"

"Y-Y-Y-Yes, sir! You got it sir!" the Cadet replied.

"Hello, welcome to Johnny's Fatty Sweets, how may I help you?" The employee at the drive-threw asked over an intercom.

"Hmmm..... Let's see, Hey, Cadet! You want something?" Dodgers asked.

"N-N-N-No thanks! I'm on a d-d-d-d cutting calories." the Cadet replied.

"Are you ready to order, sir?" the employee asked.

"Yeah, let me have a diablo sandwich, and a Dr. Pepper. And make it fast, I'm in a real big hurry!" Dodgers said to the employee.

"Oh, and give me a box of jelly filled donuts with a side of fries!" Dodgers said.

"That'll be $5.50, please pull up to the drive-threw window." the employee replied.

"You got it!" Dodgers said as the ship began to move towards the drive-threw window.

"Oh no! I just remembered, I left my wallet at home!" Dodgers said.

"Uh, Cadet? Do you think you could lend me some cash?" Dodgers asked.

"N-N-N-Nope, sorry." the Cadet replied.

"What?! I thought you said you had three hundred bucks!" Dodgers said, getting annoyed.

"I-I-I-I spent it all." the Cadet replied

"You what?! But you said that two hours ago! What could you possibly of done with all of that money that fast?" Dodgers asked.

"I bought sh-sh-sh-sh-shaving cream." the Cadet replied.

"Since when do you use shaving cream?" Dodgers asked.

"Since I started sporting a g-g-g-g-goatee." the Cadet replied.

"A goatee? You? Oh, that's ridiculous!" Dodgers mocked.

"I'm s-s-s-s not pulling your leg captain, look!" the Cadet said.

"Well, would you look at that!" Dodgers said as he looked at the Cadet's goatee.

"Wait a minute! I don't care about you're stupid goatee! I need to find me some cash, and fast!" Dodgers replied, as he got back to business.

"Quickly, Cadet... start rummaging through the seat cushions! There's gotta be five bucks here somewhere! Go to red alert!" Dodgers ordered as he leapt into his captain's chair.

"W-W-W-W-What for, captain Dodgers?" the Cadet asked.

"Just do it! We've gotta find some cash!" Dodgers replied.

"O-O-O-O if you say so." the Cadet replied.

A few minutes later...

"Well, Cadet... what did you find?" Dodgers asked, anxious to eat.

"I found a Susan B. Anthony coin, a piece of dryer lint, a Flash Gordon bobble head, women's high hills, and an a old moldy piece of gum." the Cadet replied.

"That's it?!" asked Dodgers.

"Y-Y-Y-Yep, that's it." the Cadet replied.

"Why? Why must fate play such a cruel joke on me? It's not fair! What did I ever do to deserve this? I've paid my dues in life! I paid off my mortgage! I cut up my credit cards! I gave to the poor! I ate, drank and was married! I was a good choir boy at church! I even canceled my trip to the Himalayas to watch a three-hundred year old rerun of Matlock with my dying aunt in Switzerland!"

"Uh, captain Dodgers..."

"Why?! Why?!" Dodgers said to himself, as he cradled himself back and forth on the floor crying.

"Uh, captain Dodgers..."

"What did I do?! What did I do?!"

"Uh, captain Dodgers..."

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Dodgers said out loud as he beat himself in the head on a nearby control panel.

"Uh, captain..."

"It just wasn't meant to be! Life can be so cruel!"

"C-C-C-C-Captain Dodgers!" the Cadet shouted, finally getting his attention.

"What?!" Dodgers asked.

"I found your w-w-w-w-wallet." the Cadet replied.

"Oh, happy day! You found it! We're saved!"

"By the way, where'd you find it?" Dodgers asked

"In your pocket." the Cadet replied.

"Well what do you know! I didn't leave it at home after all! Time to eat!" Dodgers said in a triumphant voice.

30 minutes and several tums later...

"Yum! That was delicious! I'm tired! Guess I'm off to bed! Goodnight, Cadet!" Dodgers said as he headed to bed.

"What about the Martians?" the Cadet asked.

"What Martians?" Dodgers said, having completely forgotten about the mission.

"D-D-D-D-don't you remember? I.Q sent on us on a mission to investigate the disappearance of Star Johnson." the Cadet replied.

"Oh yeah, well can't we do it tomorrow?" Dodgers asked.

"N-N-N-No, it can't wait. If we're not able to stop the Martian attack on Earth, society as we know it will be d-d-d-d-d slaughtered! D-D-D-D-Decimated! Tortured! Starved! And k-k-k-k-killed!" the Cadet said in a grim voice and a even grimmer look on his face.

"Okay, okay! We'll finish the mission, just please stop with the Armageddon talk will ya?" Dodgers replied.

"Wait a minute! They're gonna attack Earth?! But my apartment's on Earth! If they attack Earth... they'll destroy my apartment!" Dodgers replied.

"You know the place costs me three-hundred bucks rent! And surely there's no where in the galaxy where you can get a better deal than that! And if they destroy my apartment... I won't have any place to live!" Dodgers said.

"Why those low-down, no good, apartment wrecking baseball ball headed freaks!" Dodgers said with anger in his voice.

"Cadet, set a course for Mars! We're gonna strangle the life out of those Martians!" Dodgers ordered.

"You got it, captain." the Cadet replied.

Meanwhile, somewhere in another part of space on board another ship...

"You love me, I love you, we're a happy family!" a young man about twenty something with white hair sat comfortably in his chair, he had his feet propped up on the controls, watching Barney and Friends.

Suddenly, static appears on the screen, then a message reading _Alert! _Appeared on screen.

"Huh? What the? I hate these stupid alarms! They're always messing up my show!" the young man replied in irritation.

Back on Dodgers ship...

"What do you think, Grissom? This is definitely the work of the Cookie Killer!"

"Well, I guess that's how the cookie crumbles." Suddenly the screen went black and a message read _Alert!" _

"Hey! I was watching that! Stupid alarms! They're always messing up my show!" Dodgers said in irritation.

Meanwhile back on the other ship...

"Hey, Andros! What's going on?" the young man who's name was Zhane asked a blond man with pigtails who was manning the controls.

"Our scanners have pick up an unidentified ship, and it doesn't look any ship I've ever seen." Andros replied.

"Better blast it, just to be safe." Andros said.

Back at Dodgers ship...

"Cadet, status report! What set off our alarm?" Dodgers asked.

"Our scanners have picked up an unidentified ship, and it doesn't look like any Protectorate ship I've ever seen." the Cadet replied.

"Hmm... Better blast it, just to be safe." Dodger said.

"Ready!" Dodgers started...

"Aim!" Andros continued...

"Fire!" they both said in unison.

"Ahh!" Dodgers and the Cadet yelled out as the missile hit them dead on, causing the bridge to emit electricity and smoke.

"Cadet! Damage report! What hit us?!" Dodgers asked.

"The hull has sustained critical damage, and our engines have been knocked off-line!" the Cadet replied.

"Well, get them back on-line!" Dodgers said.

"I can't! They won't respond!" the Cadet replied.

"Think fast, Cadet! We're sitting ducks out here! And I mean that quite literally! Well, it's literal for me anyway..." Dodgers said.

Back on board the other ship...

"Brace yourselves!" Andros said to his crew as the blast struck them.

"DECA, damage report!" Andros said.

"**The ship has sustained 15-percent damage, and we have lost our right engine." **said a computer with a female voice.

"Raise the shields and go to red alert!" Andros ordered. An African-American walks over to the controls and accidentally hits yellow alert instead.

"I said red alert! Not yellow alert!" Andros replied in an annoyed voice.

"Cadet, raise the shields and go to red alert!" Dodgers ordered. Cadet accidentally pushes orange alert instead.

"I said red alert! Not orange alert!" Dodgers replied in a an annoyed voice.

Back on the other ship....

"The ship can't take much more of this!" The African-American named T.J. replied.

"Keep firing, Cadet!" Dodgers said.

"Captain, I think we've opened fire on the Power Rangers!" Cadet replied.

"The Power who?" Dodgers said.

Back on the other ship

"Uh! The engine room is off line! Carlos, can you go fix it?" Andros asked.

"Ah yipe! Ah yipe! Ah yipe! Si, senior! Speedy Gonzales away!" Carlos shouted as he ran straight threw the door.

Andros sighed, then replied

"He still thinks he's Speedy Gonzales." Andros said to himself.

"We should of never bought him that Looney Tunes DVD set!" T.J. replied.

Back on Dodgers ship...

"Okay, we'll stop firing on that ship while you explain to me who or what the Power Rangers are." Dodgers said to the Cadet.

"T-T-T-The Power Rangers are a team of colored superheroes who are called upon to defend the Earth by the wise sage Zordon when the evil sorceress Rita Repulsa, who he was responsible for imprisoning thousands of years ago escapes and..."

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah." is all Dodgers heard.

"Anyway, Rita finally gets tired of constantly being defeated, so she decides to fight the Rangers with one of they're own and in the process...

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. Yap, Yap, Blah, Blah, Dribble, Dribble, Dribble."

"Anyway, Divatox manages to destroy the Power Chamber and..."

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah."

"The Rangers discover that Zordon has been captured by the evil Dark Specter and is slowly being drained of his powers and..."

"I wonder of Starbuck was actually a woman in disguise?" Dodgers asked himself in his own mind.

"The Rangers are later joined by an alien named Andros, who gives them the Astro Morphers..."

"Admiral Duck Dodgers... I like that! Wait a minute, I've already been an admiral!" Dodgers continued to think to himself, ignoring everything the Cadet was saying.

"Now, the Rangers have to search the galaxy for Zordon, all the while being pursued by Astronema, the Princess of Evil and..."

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah."

"Who turns out be the Red Ranger, Andros' sister, who was kidnapped when they're were kids..."

"Boy, I sure am sleepy..." Dodgers said to himself as he yawned.

"Who eventually turns to the side of good, only to be brainwashed back into being Astronema." Cadet finally finished the story of the legendary Power Rangers, which wore him out, causing him to pant.

"Sorry, what now?" Dodgers asked.

"Y-Y-Y-You didn't hear a word I said, d-d-d-did you?" the Cadet asked.

"Well, you kinda lost me after the first sentence." Dodgers replied.

"In short, the Power Rangers are superheroes who defend the galaxy against all sorts of evil, disgusting creatures." the Cadet replied.

"Defending the galaxy? But that's my job!" Dodgers replied.

"Why, those low-down glory-hogging jerks!" Dodgers said in anger.

"Blast 'em, Cadet!" Dodgers ordered.

"B-B-B-But... Captain!"

"That's an order, Cadet!" Dodgers replied.

"If you say so..." the Cadet replied.

Back on the other ship...

"DECA, fire lasers!" Andros ordered.

"**Firing lasers..." **the female voice said.

"Captain! There's a laser blast heading straight for us!" the Cadet said.

"Take evasive action!" Dodgers replied.

"We can't, Captain! did you forget, our engines are out!" the Cadet replied.

"Well, why didn't you say so?" Dodgers asked.

"Return fire!" Dodgers ordered.

"It's no use, Captain! Even with our weapons, we're no match for that ship! They're equipped with a Proton Omega Laser Blaster 3000 Model Annihilator!"

"Well, what do we have? A jar of pickles?" the Dodgers replied in a sarcastic tone of voice.

"I've got it! We'll drift here for a few minutes and see what they do!" Dodgers said.

3 hours later...

"They're gonna do something! I just know it!"

5 hours later...

"Any minute now!"

1 hour later...

"Any minute..."

Finally, one day later...

"Hmm... Boy, these guys are slow!" Dodgers said.

On the other ship...

"What are they doing just drifting there? Are they waiting to attack us?" Andros asked himself.

On Dodgers ship...

"What are they doing just drifting there, Cadet? Are they waiting to attack us?" Dodgers asked the Cadet.

"I d-d-d-d-don't know." the Cadet replied.

Meanwhile, in another part of space..

"Commander... We have picked up two ships that are trespassing in Martian territory!" a Centurion robot who was manning the controls said to his superior, Commander X2

"Who are they, Centurion?" X2 asked.

"Duck Dodgers and a as-yet unidentified ship. What are you're orders?" the robot asked.

"If Duck Dodger is involved... It must be trouble! Centurion, set a course to intercept those ships! And blow Duck Dodgers out of the stars!" X2 said.

"Yes, commander!" the Centurion replied as he returned to his post.

End of Chapter 1

I know this chapter seemed to drag on a little bit, but it'll get better! The second chapter will be written and uploaded soon, there's a lot of comedy and action coming up, so stay tuned! Please read and review!


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